On the eve of Easter, many children go to their first Confession and Communion. What should a child know to be confessed and receive Communion? At what age should one first confess? Is it appropriate to dress children elaborately for this occasion?
Undoubtedly, personal relationships with God should be, or at least should become, the main value in a person’s life. Religious life is not an addition to one’s “main life,” which consists largely of work, study, home, rest, friends, or entertainment. Religious life is the core and full life of a person, while everything else is an addition. This is the secret to complete human happiness, which is impossible without a good relationship with God, who is the source of happiness and all good things. The sooner a person understands this, the more opportunities they will have to become truly happy. They will then be able to do more good and less evil, which the church calls sin.
From the first days of a child’s birth, the Church wants to embrace them with its saving grace. Many people believe that children should be baptized only to prevent them from dying or getting sick. This is not true. We bring children to the church so that from the first hours of their life, they experience a life of grace with God. This is the greatest thing loving parents can do for their children: bring them to Christ and introduce them to Him as early as possible. Do not be troubled by thoughts that children do not understand anything. In fact, children understand everything in the church. It is adults, as they spiritually decline, who face more and more spiritual obstacles.
The grace of the Church’s Sacraments can be compared to the effect of healing medicines on our body. For medicine to work and relieve pain, we do not need to understand its chemical composition. Today, almost no adults, except professional doctors and pharmacists, know this. Nevertheless, this does not prevent people from taking them. It is dangerous to think that it is better to let a child choose their faith and way of life on their own. This is a mistaken belief, similar to the modern right of children in some countries to choose their gender and name. This is an incredibly cynical and cruel practice. The fact is that a person without the experience of life with God gains experience of life with demons and the evil world every day.
Therefore, from the first moments of a child’s birth, a believing mother tries to bring them under God’s protection as soon as possible. Regardless of life circumstances or what fate awaits them in the future, a Christian mother knows that she has done the most important thing for her child: brought them to the church, to God. A Christian’s spiritual life begins in the womb when the expecting mother reads special prayers for pregnant women daily, diligently attends church, frequently confesses, and receives Holy Communion. By sanctifying herself in this way, the mother also sanctifies the child in her womb. This moment can already be called the first Holy Communion of a person. After Baptism, spiritual advisors recommend bringing children to Communion as often as possible – weekly.
Children receive Communion without confession until the age of seven. It is believed that at seven, children can understand what they are doing and distinguish between good and evil. At this age, they are mature enough to lead a spiritual life: pray, fast, and do good deeds for others. Since this age often coincides with the time when children go to or prepare for the first grade, a tradition of solemn first Confession and Communion for first graders has emerged in some regions.
Other circumstances that led to this tradition include the celebration of June 7, according to the Julian and Gregorian calendars, of the feast of “Corpus Christi” or “The Solemnity of the Most Holy Body and Blood of Christ.” In Italy, as in many countries, including Ukraine, this celebration is usually moved to the nearest Sunday, but in the Vatican, it is always celebrated on the actual feast day. From there, this purely Roman Catholic tradition came to us, where on this day, a solemn procession with the Monstrance takes place in cities and villages, and in a particularly solemn atmosphere, all parishioners receive Communion, with special attention given to children. Of course, Orthodox asceticism views such celebrations with great skepticism and distrust. If it is joy, how can it be connected with the Sacrament of Penance, which is inherently sad and full of sorrow? If it is joy from Communion, why is this joy expressed now, if the child has been receiving Communion since birth, almost for ten long years?
What should a child know before Confession? Of course, all these requirements are extremely individual and depend primarily on the child’s mental and intellectual state. Moreover, if they are raised in a believing, church-going family and attend Sunday School, the expectations for such a child will be entirely different from those for a child who has not had full Christian upbringing. Nevertheless, regardless of how much they know and can do, Confession and conversation with a priest almost always make a huge spiritual and emotional impression on the child, giving them a push and inspiration for further self-improvement. This is where we find the answer to the question of when a child should regularly confess. Only an experienced spiritual advisor can say this, and only after a personal conversation with the child.
It should be emphasized that nowadays, the level of intellectual development has significantly changed, becoming more uneven, and therefore, age is not the main characteristic of a child. For some, seven is already too late, while for others, even at ten, frequent confession is too early and not yet meaningful. Of course, we are not talking about systematic confession during every long fast, on name days, and during Holy Week. We are talking about the full spiritual life of a believer, for whom being without Communion – the most important thing in life – is the greatest punishment of all.
For Communion, Confession, and any other church events, one should dress modestly but festively, with proper taste. Orthodox tradition does not favor rituals where girls wear wreaths on their heads, and dresses mimic bridal attire. Instead, we have another wonderful tradition – putting scarves on girls’ heads. This is one of the best prerequisites for them to behave appropriately when they grow up, according to the clothes they are used to. Be sure that what is instilled in childhood will stay with them forever. Therefore, the best investment parents can make in their children is not new cars and expensive houses, but a pure and honest life. Only the example of parents matters to a child.
Unfortunately, the scope of our article is quite limited to cover the issues of Orthodox pedagogy in detail. But we must remember the main thing – it is better to bring a child to church and do “something wrong” than to stay at home for fear of mistakes.
ver.rev. Yevhen Zapletnyuk
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